Time and I were 'frenemies.' We sometimes got along, particularly on days where we could hang out and have fun like when I wanted to spend the day at the beach or stay up all night watching Stranger Things on Netflix. But time seemed to give me the cold shoulder when it came to getting things done. When I was ready to write, bummer, it's time for bed. When it was time to execute a project, look at that, I have two things I need to attend today. To make progress, I had to intentionally shift my perspective and stop viewing time as an adversary. It wasn't opposing me, resisting me or giving me the cold shoulder. Time was waiting on me to lead. It likes to work with those who not only have vision but are willing to persist. Now I know when I'm ready to write and it's bedtime, I need to push myself another 30 minutes. When it's time to execute a project, something else may, and usually does, need to be sacrificed. Time and I work well together now that I have a better understanding of its role in this partnership.
Money was a different challenge. I had money. I just wasn't used to pointing it in the direction of myself. I remember giving into a big project and thinking for the first time, God, I would take my entire savings to zero for this. For me, life doing things like that was easy. What wasn't easy was making the decision to use some of my savings to publish a book. I was willing to give thousands of dollars externally without giving it another thought but when it came to putting money towards something I had a personal vision for, I was uncomfortable. I wrestled with thoughts like, "Am I being wasteful?" and "Should I be doing this right now?" I wasn't being wasteful. Publishing a book was a deep and unrealized desire of my heart that would require money to materialize. The timing couldn't have been better either. I had the vision, the means and the ability to do this, right now. So I went for it and the angst associated with using money towards my vision disappeared. I am worth it just like everything else I've given to.
Talent has primarily been a question of courage. I've honestly believed in my heart that I am talented enough over the majority of my life. My fear was that no one else would believe like I do. No one wants to be the American Idol contestant who has all the confidence but sounds likes cats fighting in a back alley. I didn't want to be the person no one told the truth to about their 'gift'. My natural leaning in life is to write and to help others with their writing. So becoming an author and an editor is a bit like breathing to me. It feels effortless even though it requires great effort but how do you get in front of people and let them watch you breathe? I decided to take the pressure off myself. I stopped focusing on who was watching and started focusing on who I'm reaching. Reaching began to matter more to me than who was watching. Reaching became precious, inspiring and a source of joy. Building the courage to reach was easier than building the courage to stand before those who would watch. I choose to reach.
Maybe you have your own challenges of time, money, and talent but I believe in you. You will find a way to overcome.